I am in a hotel, with many rooms. The entranceway is built with wide brown stairs and peach paint.
It is clear that I am running the hotel, as I stand in one, that has sky blue paint and a wooden headboard above the bed.
I am talking about the business to a man, because there is a dead woman in the bath tub.
The bath tub is a coral color. She is face down and her long black hair is flowing up, in the bath water, with blood.
I leave the room, as I wait for someone, to come and get the body. On my way down the stairs, to the front desk, I notice cockroaches running about widely.
The cockroaches see me and they run into another staircase, which leads into the basement.
There is guests walking back and forth and the roaches are running in and out of their suitcases and clothes. They seem calm and unaware.
I remember thinking, that this is hard to run a hotel. I am not sure why I was there, because, I have no desire to own one.
My backyard is not very large yet, in my dream, there is a wide, grassy field there. The grass is light green and it flows in the breeze, softly like sea grass. It is long and silent as it waves in the air.
The large pine trees outside are gigantic and they span several houses down. This whole yard is seemingly in the countryside, while I dwell in the city, in waking life.
The skies are blue and I see sunshine and many clouds drifting by, slowly in the sea of hidden stars. Everything seems to be so peaceful.
I see my father walking towards me, in a white baseball cap. He is coming from the back end of the field, towards the house. His hands are dirty and soiled, as if he has been gardening. He waves to me.
All of a sudden, a group of men, knock down the brick wall, to the left of my house. They are wearing mexican hats, cowboy boots and wrangler jeans.
They have landscaping equipment with them. They walk straight through the bricks, not even, seeming to notice, the power of what they are doing. They walk on to the position that my dad is, without care.
I see a large group of brown and red rats, following after them. The rats are destroying the landscape, everywhere they go. There is hundreds of them.
One of the men, wearing a gray cowboy hat, pulls a mother skunk and her family, from a hole in the middle of the property. He pulls them up, without respect for their lives and tosses them, to the side.
Although, the images that I am seeing, are shocking, I do not stop anyone of them, from destroying the land. I watch with sadness, as this unfolds.
I am in a very dark hotel room. It is almost pitch black and there is only a small table lamp, outlaid in brass, that I can see. It glows only softly, a faint yellow color.
I am dressed in all black silk pajamas. My feet are bare and cold. I walk across a wooden floor, that is chilly on my toes.
I cross from the queen size bed, over to the table, that is circular in shape. It is one of those collapsible pieces of furniture.
There is a hamster's cage, on top of the table. The hamster is orange and it is wearing a red and white sweater. It is friendly.
There is a small gray mouse in the cage with the hamster. I pick it up and kiss it on the forehead and then put it back down, to pick up the hamster.
I take the hamster into the bed with me and cuddle it. It just lays there, in it's red and white sweater, looking for the mouse.
Someone knocks on the door and I let them in. It is a woman in her twenties. She has a black back pack on and she is dressed in all black. She has dark brown hair, in a ponytail.
She checks on things in the hotel room but, never turns on the light. She goes over, to play with the mouse. I set the hamster back,in the cage.
Before she goes to leave, I lay back in bed. She says good bye to me and closes the door behind her and I go back to sleep.
I am in another land. The weather is cold and clear. The landscape is muddy and wet. There are dark green trees around, with intricate trunks, as if you can see them breathing.
I am sitting in a car, watching this place, with a camera and zooming in for magnification on a hillside,miles away. It is very silent in this place, not even the sound of an animal, comes through.
There is a campus of some kind, made of brown brick, with a cobblestone walkway, in front of the landscape. It has high and ancient towers, fences and lights all around the area, for protection.
I don't know these people, this area, or what's going on. I have my sister Abby and Paul in the driver's seat of the car, parked, with me in the passenger seat.They are themselves but, not mentally or emotionally complete. They are stone silent, like robots.
I have a memory when I look at Abby of a round fishtank, filled with four turtles, that are all clones. They are colored different than, a regular turtle, they have a lime green tone.I am holding and inspecting the turtles, in the glass bowl. I am a young girl.
I come back to the present moment and it is becoming night time.On the horizon, where I am looking, I start seeing silver U.F.O's lining up, together. I zoom in, take a good photo and then panic and run, when I realize they notice me.
The next night, I return. On the way there, in the car, we stop by a farm, with tiny pigs running about. The pigs grow into regular size. These pigs are very smart, they move slower and with more thought, than the average one.
The car door is open and one that's pink with brown spots, tries to get inside. It can't jump in time because, the car and my mind is moving too fast. It is so intelligent, it keeps trying to come in but, it also reads my mind, as we drive away and recedes its position.
We hurry because the sun is setting now, again. We park over in a spot that resembles the mystery spot of Santa Cruz, that I know. There is a high brown rock and dark green plants, on the perimeter.
This time, as the sun is setting, there is a large and magnificent silver dragon, on the horizon. It is spectacular. It is hovering in the air, just slightly bouncing up and down, as it holds a neutral position.
The middle of the dragon is a moving tube that looks slender, soft, alive and magical.The look almost reminds me of velvet, if it were a metal. It even has brown eyes, that are large and have no pupils.
It is suspended by enormous silver wings, that look identical to feathers. They are intricate, lightweight but obviously, of a living metal, as it moves, apart and together, like tiny organisms of the same species, breathing as one. They come together, to shape incredible, heart shaped wings.The wings are a softer hue, than the body of the dragon.
I am overcome so much, by the beauty and wonder, that I find myself getting out of the car and joining the groups of people, by the brown building, which sits tall and high, like a castle.
Abby and Paul wait in the car for me, in silence, in case anything should happen and we would need to escape.
I slowly walk past a large group of people, in technologically advanced outfits. They are all dressed alike, just as if they are in uniform.
This is obviously an organization of some kind, like a college, because they are all as old as I am. They are walking around and discussing the same topics,grouping together in uniformity, speaking in an unheard language.
The outfits are dark blues, trimmed with rich browns and blacks. They are embossed in circular shapes around the neckline. There are some with swirls emanating from the chest, like a sun shape, becoming raised up, pieces of the same soul fabric, on the surface.
The fabric has tiny designs on few, with variation, like blue roses on one exquisite jacket piece, that I detail in my mind, as I walk past a unit of students, bonding together.
The people start to notice me. I am in black, so I don't stand out to much to be recognized, because there are some black shirts underneath, of blue blazer jackets, which my colors blend in with.
The cobblestones are a brown and red color and they are shaped like octagons, coming together, in the center to form a mandala.
The mandala matches the colors of all the uniforms, buildings and environment. The mandala comes together as one, to form a large surface about eight feet altogether and across. The color from the outside is a dark brown, red and than to yellow, with lining in navy blue, black and silver.
There is a man sitting down on a brown built in stone bench, with a white and grainy like sandy, top on it. He is very healthy, with a dark blonde shiny hair color and Earth brown eyes.
I feel such an attraction to his gene structure because, some of the other people look far more superior than us. He looks like he is imperfect; like we are, on our planet.The others have sharp and narrow faces and ears, shapes perfected through time.
I grab his navy blue uniform. It feels as cotton feels and is hard and stiff, like cardboard. I am overcome with passion and I start shaking him slightly, by the opening of his jacket.
He is slightly larger than I am, perhaps he is about five foot eight inches.He is built athletically, as if he does alot of physical work.
"Where are we?" I frantically shout at him. I am asking questions and he obviously can't understand me too well. He starts to shake his head and speak rapidly in another language.
"Is that french?" I ask and then he pulls away from me, but still is sitting. He is trying to explain something to me.
I literally jump on top of him, as if we are magnets. I say that I just love his genes and latch on, even with my legs twisted, around him. He has on black pants, too.
He starts yelling in desperation at me. He grabs me and moves me away from him, speaking now in American; "You are a clone, where is the real you?"
"Where is the real you." It echoes inside with emotion following close behind.
It paralyzes me when he says that, as I start to panic about this question. Obviously, I am in dream form. "Where do you come from?" He asks again?
I start freaking out as I see the anxiety in his eyes. A silver U.F.O. is landing where Abby and Paul are supposed to be parked. So, I try to run as fast as possible, back to the vehicle.
When I realize how far I walked from the car, I became angry at myself. It seems like a few miles. I am walking fast, through a maze of rooms inside and hallways.
I get a sense of urgency, as I realize there is officials, in all black and white uniforms, with hats, like paperboys but, with a black rope twisted with two pieces around the circumference of the hat, extending with a small visor to protect the eyes, asking questions, looking for someone.
I realize it is me they are searching for. I hide in a shower room. The curtains are a navy blue color and the tile has opaque stones in them, offset by beiges and sandy whites.
As the man is coming towards the shower, I bolt and run as fast as possible, away from this place. I am really feeling the anxiety now.
I run back through the center of the outside of the building and everyone is drawing up close to the oval shaped U.F.O., that is landed now. They are hypnotized but, not as if they are held against their will, just by sheer fascination.
I could feel the urge to watch who was coming out of the U.F.O., overtake me but, I was extremely worried for my family and safety. I wanted to know so badly what was inside but, I knew that if I did, I could possibly never return home.
I arrive back at the car, which seems to be changing colors everyday and we leave in silence, driving slow, so that we don't draw too much attention, away from the spaceship, that has just landed.
I am sitting at a very tall and long, dark, wooden family table. My husband, my sister Abby and my grandfather Denny, who is passed, is there.They are eating bites of food off of their plates, with silver forks, very slowly.
It is dark in this room and the walls are open everywhere, so you can see the space. Behind the kitchen is a long living room and a bedroom.
By the front door, I notice rat turds everywhere and I see a few rats. They scurry under the cupboards and the table.
I start to sweep up the wood splinters and turds off of the floor and then I set poison out for the rest.
I tell everyone that I have to go and I get on a bus with my ukulele in hand, lightly strumming and singing to it about fire and light and magic.
While I am on the bus, I come to realize that we are in NY. We are driving and I am with my first friend, Cassie.
We get off the bus and onto a horse and carriage. She is wearing jeans and a light pink shirt. I keep grabbing at the material in the jeans because she isn't speaking.
We are heading through an old town on a main street. There is not that many people and it looks like everyone is dressed in clothes from the 1800's.
I am walking around and asking people for jobs and paid work. My friend follows me but, she is still not talking.
I am using a wooden pencil to write a speech on a piece of paper, at a pine podium, on a black glossy stage. The words I am writing onto lined paper and they read; "Thank You."
I hand them to a light skinned man, who is wearing a dark blue suit and black shoes, tie and shirt. He is an older man with brown hair.
He grabs it and he has a golden award like a globe and an oscar man statuette in his hands. He reads it to everybody.
It is chilly outdoors and I am wearing a navy blue puffy coat. I have black cotton mittens on and I take them off to reveal my bare hands.
I am at an outside playground. There is a red plastic slide and a metal circular spinning toy in the middle. There is wood bark all over the ground.
On a side by the sidewalk, where it hits the dirt, I find myself digging into the Earth. I am getting potatoes and carrots out of the ground and collecting them to eat.
I have my pink cutaway style acoustic electric guitar in my hands. I am trying to tune my guitar to a tuner, and the notes are all off. I try to strum the strings and then they are stiff, and they don't make a sound.
I leave the stage and I go back to sit with my mother at a small black circular table that is raised up high with bar stool chairs.
My mother gives me a small white box, that smells like pee. I open it and there is about 100 tiny mice babies, they have silver fur but, their eyes are not even opened. They are all nested and sleeping.
I give the box back to her and she tells me that she got them from the wild. It is some kind of exotic mouse. I am not sure what I am supposed to do with them.
A young man comes over and he asks for the lyrics to a song. So, I come up with song lyrics to chords we are trying to play. The lyrics are saying that "I am a galaxy, aligned to everything, can you feel me?"
Then, the song that we just wrote, comes on t.v. during a commercial. The other people at the sports bar are confused and one man, in a black business suit and white hair said, "Am I supposed to understand what all this means?"
I am about to go out on a stage. There is bright blue, yellow and white lights focused on the center of a black glossy stage.
I have my pink guitar in my hand. For some reason, I start to play it like a ukulele, and I really focus on my fingertips. I run out mid-song into the side curtains.
I start saying horrible things to myself. One thing I think, is that all my songs are stupid and then I decide to play, "Honey".
I go back onstage to play "Honey" and I don't do a very good job. I leave again before the show is over and go cry in the corner.
Paul and I are housed up in an apartment, at the top floor of a building. The walls are colored a rustic red. The furniture is black.
Every night, there is zombies that try to break in through the door. The door is black and it has many gold chains and locks on it.
The zombies put there green hands into the crack in the door and I have to hold them off by pushing up against the door and relocking.
The window to outside in the place, is only showing darkness to the outside. There is no lights or sound coming through.
There is alot of actors in a white room that is filled with rolling hanger racks, lined with clothes.
We are all trying on the clothes. I gravitate towards the white and cream colors. I keep trying on outfits and none of them fit properly and there is no tailor.
The clothes are silk dresses, white choker necklaces, high heels and diamond jewelry. For the men, there is white jeans and shoes.
I remember being very upset that nothing was in my size. Yet, all the other actors were so happy because everything was perfect for them.
It is time for the sun to come up. Dawn is breaking like a red sun through the sky. I can see the shadows of a large mountain range in the grass.
I am sitting there, on the ground. I can feel moisture on the plants all around me. There is a bit of frost. The cold air is soft and inviting.
As the sun rises, so do I, as I continue on to walk the pathway of its golden rays. I walk away with long dark hair and no clothes and a walking stick made of wood. I walk into the mountain.
I am with a large group of people that are around my age. We are standing together, all in white clothings. The clothing is made of a sturdy texture. It does not get dirty. It is like a long robe, covering my body.Everything is very crisp and very clean.
We are outside at a metal park bench table. It is shiny and silver. It is slim and narrow. The ground is asphalt. I think it's an airport.
I am not sure where we are going. It seems like it is to a job or something similar. It seems important.
We are not communicating with our voices but, telepathically. We are speaking about where to take showers and brush our teeth. We are also speaking about when to eat.
An asian woman, dressed all in white as well, comes along, with a metal dinner service cart. She places all the meals in front of us. They meals are underneath of silver domes. It looks like rice with a brown sauce.
After the meals are finished, We all stand on the dinner service cart and the lady pushes us along. I am not sure how we can all fit on it, as the group is about 20 people, but, we do. The cart is only about five feet long and three feet tall.
She pushes us through the airport and no one seems to notice us there. She passes hallways with glass walls and there is a sunset outside.
We just keep going on like this. I do not know the destination that we are heading.
I am at a camp where there is a building with many small bunk beds and other people.
I am walking to go outside where I am supposed to be. When I get outside, I somehow accidently cut off my right hand pointer finger with a knife. I cut it off in two places.
I run back inside with the finger and present it to a medic woman who has short blonde hair. She is very petite as well. She almost seems like she isn't going to help me. So, I beg her to help and she sews it back on.
Then, I go back to the bedroom with the bunk beds and I ask for what happened to my hair extensions. No one will tell me so, I go look outside and around.
I find them there, covered in dirt, outside where my finger was cut. Somebody has buried all my hair in the Earth.
I am in my room sleeping in pitch black darkness. I feel a ghost by my right side, so I wake up in fear. It startles the spirit who is whispering into my ear.
The spirit is invisible and you cannot make out any form. It is mad that I woke up and it holds up books with hard covers. I can tell it's mad because the energy changes vibrations.
I jump out of bed to charge the spirit. I put my head down like a bull. I even put my fingers up in the air like bulls ears by my face. I run my head into the books and they fall from the spirit's weak hands onto the ground. I keep running at the books and spirit until it cowers in a corner of the room.
I am sitting in a desk, in a classroom. I am in the very back row, and the farthest away from the front.
It is evening time, and hard to see because I can't really make out whats going on through the windows in the back. All I can see is the darkness.
The room is dimly lit. The floor looks like a dirty beige colored tile, that is set in large squares. There is about twenty other students in the room, from what I can see.
I am wearing all black and I see a tiny white puppy, about the size of the palm of my hand, in my lap. It is so fragile looking, and I remember having anxiety about if it had its shots or if it would get parvo.
The teacher is a short woman, with dark skin. She walks the aisles, looking at our paperwork on our desks. She never looks at mine.
I am at my parents house. It is a house that they have not lived in before. The carpet is gray, the walls are white and every corner is very angular and shortened.
The room that I am in is very small, and empty. There is one window with white blinds, and the sun is coming in, very softly, in lines of light, through the cracks.
I close my eyes, and when they are opened again, there is a bed in the room. It takes up the wall and space by the window. It has a frilly bed spread on it, with a thick yellow comforter.
I hear my father outside the door, so I step out there. He is wanting to go to the store and so I follow him, thinking that I need some nail polish.
Then, I see my brother in the backseat of the red blazer, coming with us. He cuddles up to me in the back of the car, on the carpeted grey seats and doesn't speak. We just watch people out the window, walking and it is comforting. The heater is on inside, and it is very relaxing.
I am in a dream land where there is soft and luscious grass growing in tall waves. There is a soft breeze blowing. The sun is shining down, just gently enough.
There is a small hill that I am walking on. I find an eagle feather on the ground and then I pick it up, and start waving it around in joy.
I walk to a church. It is a small church with a gorgeous piano inside. The piano is made from red cherry wood. I sit down at the piano and I see a friend from Montana on the other side. She is one that was always at the christian church. She just smiles.
I start to play the piano very perfectly. I am singing and it is perfect. It is not a religious song. There is two long white candles on top of the piano and they are burning softly.
Than, I leave and I walk outside again. There is a girl and she has light brown hair and she hands me a glow in the dark dragon circular bead. It has the dragon with his mouth open, eating another dragon, in a circle.
As soon as I put the necklace on, it turns into a brown coffin box. It is about six inches tall. The coffin opens and there is a black wooden cross inside.
I take the cross out and I place it in the ground, on the hill where I was walking before.
There is a beautiful house with many corners. There is many square walls and arches of the doorway. The ceilings are low.
I am barefoot and I look to the floor which has beautiful tiles in each room. In one, there is a rusty brown tile. In the next, there is a yellow tile with a garden design on them. This includes beautiful red flowers and green vines. In another, I see a light pink. In only one room is carpet.
There is a red painting in the room with the dark carpet. The painting is made from a strong wooden canvas, that is square shaped. There is a geisha's face carved into the canvas. She has beautiful ornamental jewelry in her hair. It is a chop stick with a jewel on it. The whole painting is red. It protrudes from the wall in a three dimensional way.
I pick up the painting, and I look behind it. There is little stowaway spots within it. I put money behind the painting, and I place it back onto the white wall.
My first best friend Cassie, asks me if I want to go to church with her. I just agree, even though, I am not religious because, I want to spend time with her.
We go to this place with fold out chairs and a pale blue wall. We sit down with a group of about thirty people.
She pulls out of her pale pink purse, an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels alcohol and gives it to me and I take a couple swigs until I am drunk.
I am wearing a black hipster looking hat and I keep adjusting it on my head because it is fitting loosely. My hair is long and down underneath of it.
All of a sudden, a silence overcomes everyone and Tyler Henry, the Hollywood Medium, walks into the room. He is wearing a dark blue shirt with black pants.
We are sitting off to the right side, by the door, the second row. He goes towards the middle and reads people. We never get a reading because we are far off.
I am in a bad mood because I always feel excluded and isolated even though, I choose to sit where I did.
We leave in a magenta four door car from the nineties. I am in the passenger side and a large man, with blonde hair and green eyes, that says he is in the NFL, is somehow on the outside of the vehicle, seated down but, going with us and staring at me.
I am in a very clean house. There is many bedrooms and a very thin and fresh, dark blue carpet. The rooms are all very simple, with only a bed and blankets, in each one.
There is closets in each room, built into the wall and they have mirrors on the outside. Everything is shaped very square like.
A person rings the doorbell to deliver a newspaper. The person is a young white man on a shiny blue bike. He takes off. There is a color picture of my children on the front and all the details of my life story.
Then, I notice a cargo box made of wood on the cement stairs, as well. I bring the box inside, and there is a baby bat. It is sleeping in some hay.
I take the bat inside and it flies away and hides. I spend alot of time to look for the baby bat but, then I find it underneath of one of the beds.
Then, I realize that the baby bat is probably hungry, and so I go into the fridge and I find leftover chinese food with pieces of meat and vegetables, finely chopped up.
The baby bat is bundled up into a small white blanket, like a newborn. It has adorable eyes and demeanor. I feed it the food, one by one piece and also some water in a small tin bowl.
No one else is home in this house and so the bat does not live in a cage, it is free to roam the house, as it pleases.
The town I am in my dream is small and quaint. There is barely any businesses alongside the road. The road is stretched out like a long highway.
I am in the passenger side of a blue pickup truck that appears to be from the 90's era. Paul is driving.
We pass by an area covered by pine trees and a small brick building. I see a man walking on the sidewalk, who looks like Cody Simpson. I freak out and I have Paul turn around to go and talk to him.
By the time that we make our way back around, there is another couple of men with dark hair, that he is sitting with. They are huddled up in blankets, that look like they are from the hospital.
Cody is wearing a black beanie with a gray hoodie and the others are dressed very similar. His face is gaunt and he cannot speak when I try to say hello, because he is shivering so badly from the cold air.
I am in a beautiful land with a black basic cell phone. My purpose is to record a video about how to use herbal incense smudge wands.
The first place that I try to film it is in the shallow water. There is a muddy place, where the water hits me right above the ankles.I am barefoot. I am wearing a white cotton dress with bell sleeves and flower shapes punched out of the sleeves.
The water is dirty because there is socks, and garbage in it. There is a large crowd of people, so I can't get a quiet shot.
The people are wearing pointed straw hats that are so large, in the shape and color of the sun. Their skin is the same color. They are harvesting some type of plant from the muddy waters. They are smiling.
I leave the water to go to the forest that sits right next to the edge. The trees have white barks, they are very skinny and long with green eucalyptus leaves, leaving widespread spaces in between each and spiraling up like a staircase to the top. Yet, they are so close together, that it is mostly shady.
I find a clearing in the center. The sun is lightly touching through the circular spot. There is white, yellow and golden wildflowers sprinkled about like baby's breath on a short, soft and mossy green surface. They match my clothing.
There is many people again and they are all happy and smiling. They have their children with them and they are a bit paler than the people in the water. I overhear someone saying that we are in Heaven.
I lay in the center with my back on the ground and my hair out in abundance. There is wildflowers weaving in and out of my hair.
I hold the cell phone out and I try to do another video, but, I change my mind because I am relaxing and there is too much chaos in the background. So, I just peacefully lay here.
I am in the place where Scream Park, a haunted house in Sacramento, California is located, where I act. Instead of the horror setup, it is cleaned out and there is a piano and part of a grocery store set up.
The grocery store is set up like a street market, with fresh fruits in brown wooden cargo boxes, on tall stands. It only takes up a small area by the front door.
There is a piano on the other end of the building. The farthest corner from the entrance, away from all windows. It is made with a light red wood, classic style.
The manager rolls the piano over to the middle of the floor and starts to play it. I am filled with anxiety because he is playing it so well and I am impatient that I want to be playing it, instead.
There is a man that is very tall, about seven feet. He is all black tar and he glides across the floor when he walks and causes a disturbing smell like death.
He says to me telepathically, that I can see him because I died before and came back to life. He says he will take my soul on my next death.
I am with Melissa Gorga, from the Real Housewives of New Jersey, and she is at a house, that is not the one from on t.v. It is smaller, and more comfortable looking.
She asks me to read her palms, and I look at her hands and marvel at the mound of Apollo, where she has two distinct lines that curl up, in the shape of the zodiac symbol for aries. I tell her that is amazing for arts and business.
We are sitting out back at a white patio table by a pool. I walk over and I look at the pool and I realize there is no chemicals in it, and it is very dirty, so we drain the pool.
When the pool is drained, there is green seaweed like a moss, all over the bottom of the pool. I wanted to swim but, not after that, so she goes away, and I try to clean it.
Then, Ariana Grande, a pop star, comes over and talks to me by, the pool, and says that she wants me to be in a performance with her. She wants me to play a mexican house maid.
We perform the play in the back room, facing out, towards the pool. The room has a wooden table with oranges on it, a blue couch, and a t.v. There is no doors so, it is facing outside.
While I am acting, I see thousands of people sitting in the crowd, in the backyard, past the pool, just watching us.
The whole performance is improv, and it is very fun. Ariana plays the woman in the house and I come in and speak spanish, and clean things, during her performance, to make it seem real.